Do You Feel Like You Are Spiralling Out Of Control?

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How many times in our lives do we think we have it all together when out of nowhere we get slammed with some force greater than what’s in our control, showing us differently?

We go from contentment to what seems like muddling around in a cess pool. In the blink of an eye, everything we knew as normal is suddenly up in smoke.

Our world as we know it is spiralling out of control and we didn’t even see it coming.

But what if we are looking at it from an angle that in fact does not serve us and in reality things are spiralling into control?

Is it possible for you, now, to step out of the cess pool and back away from it and just watch and trust? And more-so, trust yourself to handle it, whatever it is.

Will you give yourself permission to back up long enough to witness what may very well be a life enhancing event?

Can you allow yourself to, rather than resist what is happening, welcome it?

It very well may be, the more we try to control things, the less control we actually have. That in fact, the control we think we have is nothing but an illusion.

My question to you is, if you are unable to let things happen and deal with them as they arise, in other words, you feel like you are losing control, spiralling, because things are happening that  you did not plan, where in your person do you feel out of control? 

Don’t blame your kids for not listening. Don’t blame your parents. Just don’t blame. Take responsibility and follow it back to it’s origin.

Let me give you a mild but classic example. I say classic because in talking to many people over the years (including myself) this is so very common. Your child is coming shopping with you and he/she has on mismatched clothes. You instruct them to change before you go. They get upset because they like what they are wearing. You then order them to change or you do it for them. Now you are pissed because they don’t listen and they are throwing a tantrum.

Finally you make it out the door. You feel horrible and so does kid. You are flipping between feeling guilt and anger. Anger that you are the parent and kid doesn’t listen and guilt because you know the real reason all this happened was more about you than what the child was wearing.

You didn’t want to be judged. You didn’t want someone to look at your child’s mismatched clothes and judge you.

All it takes sometimes to ‘spiral out’ is something as small as this. Or a series of small events like this.

But, if you were to take a different view of spiralling, perhaps it would change your entire perception.

If you were to look at the things in life that spiral naturally, in fact cannot and do not exist without spiralling, that may create enough meaning for you to finally let go of the idea that spiralling is bad.

Below is a list of things that do not survive or exist without spiralling.

Snail shell

Flower blooming      

The galaxy

Human hair from crown

Fingerprint

Whirlpool

Cactus

Red Cabbage

Goat with spiral horns

Pine cone

Honestly the list could go on and on…

Now, realizing all that nature offers that spirals, can you appreciate how spiralling may be a miracle in the making?

I promise you this, if you will go back in your mind to a time when your life seemed to be spiralling, and view it with honesty and clarity, you will find at the end of it came a better understanding of something. You either gained something of value (not necessarily material things) or you lost something that was not serving you.

I hope now, spiralling has new meaning to you.

Souls Survival: Getting Real With Who You Really Are

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How in the world do we go on day by day believing we are not as good as the guy beside us? Why do we feel it necessary to compare ourselves to everyone else? Where did we lose our self trust and knowingness that we are good enough just as we are?

The act of giving in life is a release of great joy. With that release, sends out a happy vibration to anyone willing to accept it.

One may judge why another is so happy and in that is the refusal to accept.

We have within us the ability to surmount all of our wishes and dreams or succumb to our fears and failures.

We don’t need the added pressure of comparison. We just need to ‘be’ who we are at our core.
All is a choice. A choice of tempered heart or centered heart.

Life is not fair we know this. Nothing seems fair but of who’s perception do we judge through? Who is right?

What makes for a good existence? The comparing to and of others?

Do we really want what they have or are we looking for the outward validation of what they receive?

What is it costing us to live in such spite for ourselves becasue isn’t that what we are doing?

Aren’t we spiting ourselves if we are living our lives as per the direction of someone we compare ourselves to?

Getting real with ourselves and finding that which completely allows us to thrive is usually very simple. We have, however, become fillers of voids through comparison and materialism and at the same time dig the hole of emptiness so deep we become a bottomless pit.

We strive to belong but in doing so stand alone.

What Do YOU Really Want? 

* Could you decipher for yourself what it is that really makes you sparkle? What juices you?

* Can you trust yourself to know you are enough just as you are?

* Can you dare to be authentic and carry yourself though life by following your own deepest needs and desires?

* Will you define who you are based on the goodness in your heart and not the properties in your hand?

* Will you stretch out your hand to help someone who needs it but does not ask?

* Can you trust enough to share a tear with that person who is lost just like you?

* Won’t you bear witness to the coming of greatness that may at first glance look like weakness?

* Dare you set aside all your judgments and lay them to rest forever and give peace a chance? Your peace. Inner peace. Will you I ask?

Don’t waste anymore of your life being guarded. Guarded by the speculation of those whom mean nothing to you emotionally. Those who do not have a direct influence in your life do not have a say.

Find in here what it is you resist against and therin lies your sturggle. Utilizing hypnosis to locate and relase and you will find the peace within that breaks down the barriers of the illusion you currently live.
Going deep inside is strength. It is taking charge of your life. It is not leaving it up to random chance or ego decisions.

It is taking responsibility.

You are owning your own power and creating your life authentically. You are in control.

If you are missing that part of you that once defined the good in you, hypnosis will draw it out for you in its purest form, reintroduce yourself to the part of you that has gone astray and welcome her back with respect and admiration.

This, from your soul.

Releasing ‘Stuff’ Is Easy. Holding Onto It Is Hard

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Holding on to our ‘stuff’ can be traumatizing. By holding on I mean reliving something undesirable over and over and over in our heads.

We turn a corner and something reminds us and it plays out in full. A song comes on the radio, same thing. It could be a number of things, different for everyone.

What happens is the more we play it (relive it) the more real it becomes. The more real something becomes, is the reality for which we begin making decisions, and view our world.

When things are really bad, we may begin transferring our ‘stuff’ onto other people thus creating a whole lot of hurt and drama.

If I told you how to end the cycle, would you?

Would you actively participate in taking responsibility and giving yourself permission to feel good?

Well, here’s your opportunity to Feel Good Now!

- Take a few breaths in…deep breaths…allowing your mind to quiet.

- Close down your eyes, and bring forth the ‘stuff’ one memory at a time. Repeat the following process for each memory.

- When you think of this memory, take notice of where in your mind the memory is, near or far, whether it is colourful or black and white, is it a still shot or is it moving?

Now as promised the rest is pretty simple. Without knowing you I can tell you the memory is in the forefront of your mind

- Take the memory and move it to the back of your mind watching as it gets smaller and smaller..

- If it’s in colour change it to black and white.

- If it is a still shot, have it moving.

- Push the memory until it is the size of a piece of dust then blow it in the wind!

- Watch/feel as all the facets of this memory begin to diminish, right behind your eyes…<smile>

- Bring forth a pleasant memory you want in the forefront of your mind and you’re all set.

- Repeat this process as often as necessary but let’s face it, it doesn’t matter how many times you need to do it, it pales against the misery you currently endure.

Look, if someone brought a BFI bin into your driveway and dropped it there would you move it or just leave it there, taking up space? You can’t utilize your driveway, or allow for anything else to be placed there.

It takes far more effort and energy to leave the ‘stuff’ (BFI bin) right where it is than to put it back where it belongs….gone! You may need to take a few days to move the bin alone, but once it is gone, you are free to put in it’s place whatever you want. 

Take the time, do the exercise and reap the rewards. Bet you haven’t done anything so simply effective in a while!

Let me know how you made out :)

You Were Vulnerable And You Got Screwed Over…Time To Celebrate!

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Beware of the big bad angry person at work who claims if you piss him/her off their alter ego will erupt and you will be sorry…

Pfft! Who are they kidding? It’s time to stop living in fear folks because not only are you debilitating yourself by creating weakness you are enabling bad behaviour in others.

It is these people who are weak and have demons and they are projecting onto you their insecurities so they can feel powerful.

Stand up and be counted. They cannot feel power over you unless you let them. When you stand up you own your own power. When you understand this trait in people you will no longer become a target and when you fully embrace who you are, what you believe in and own your truth, you are free. When all these things align there is nothing inside of you that creates guilt, shame or regret.

Anyone who is secure in themselves never, ever feel the need to intimidate others, act grandiose or bully people into submission.

Knowing this will allow you to see people in a different light. Relieve some pressure perhaps. Maybe even allow you, with this new understanding to not give a rip anymore what others do and don’t do.

Allow me to share a perfect example that I am most certain on some level you can relate to. A few years ago I got completely thrown under the bus by a ‘friend.’ I chose to overlook it and over time the friendship built up again. Recently she did it again. Totally and completely threw me under the bus sharing information and concerns I had voiced to her privately. Information I was prepared to share myself but wasn’t given the chance.

Let me be specific in the ‘friend’ thing. We had worked very closely for a few years, we have been to each others houses, know the families, the history, shared Christmas gifts, gone camping, taken road trips, gone to parties, out for meals, and for the sake of recognition and a feeling of significance, she threw all of that away.

Again.

The last time I was shocked and appalled. This time although I did not expect it, I was completely calm and confident.

I actually found myself empowered when I walked away, like a burden lifted from my body. I see this person daily and I grin now when I see her because on some level I allowed that gruff exterior to intimidate me but now all I see is someone desperately seeking significance. I grin because I have total control. I am free. I see through new eyes.

I was vulnerable. I allowed it to happen, after all she did it before why would I think she wouldn’t do it again?

WHAT DOES BEING VULNERABLE MEAN?

Many people are afraid of being vulnerable. I am not. If someone wants to use my vulnerabilities against me, that says more about them than it does about me and also, I trust myself enough to handle it.

Being vulnerable is being real.  Being vulnerable is saying or doing things that do not necessarily fit the ‘norm.’ It can feel like you are exposed.

Personally, to expose myself in my view, is far more therapeutic than keeping it stuffed away. It allows for greater understanding, compassion and empathy which are qualities in life necessary to function a full meaningful existence.

Being vulnerable is what will give you the strength to be your authentic self. Self trust is what holds it all together.

Embracing vulnerability and self trust, you have nothing to run from. Nothing to fear.

This can be learned during a hypnosis session and forever you will own your power!

 

 

 

How To Gain The Strength To Do What You Want

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How many times do we feel something yet don’t have the words to describe that feeling? Or, have the understanding that doing a particular act, for instance, something that reflects being true to ourselves is ‘supposed’ to leave us feeling a certain way but it doesn’t?

Does it then leave you questioning what you really know, or believed to be true? If we are supposed to feel ‘this’ way but we instead feel ‘that’ way, we must be warped. “Yup told ya. I am a hot mess. I KNEW IT!”

First and foremost, everyone experiences things differently based on their interpretation of it. Although there may be some standard commonalities in dealing with certain things, not everything is textbook. You must first trust yourself and your own feelings and spend less time comparing what others say is normal. If it feels good to you, that’s all that matters.

In hypnosis, you can choose how you want to feel and base your actions accordingly. You write the script, or textbook if you will. You don’t have to leave your feelings up to chance and spend hours or days questioning whether you are ‘normal’ because you don’t feel the way a book said you should feel.

Say were wanting to learn to say ‘no’ to people but feel great anxieties around doing so, being in a state of relaxed mind and body (hypnosis) will allow you to create whatever outcome you want.

Ahh, but you say, “How is that possible, I cannot control how others will react to me saying ‘no’, therefore I cannot create the outcome.”

Here’s the thing. At no time do we ever want to control anyone. It is our own behaviours  reactions and emotions we want to keep in check. How others respond to us means absolutely nothing once we learn to manage our emotions through hypnosis, thus creating the outcome.

11 STEPS TO CREATING YOUR DESIRED OUTCOME IN ANYTHING

1. First relax. Totally and completely let yourself get into a meditative state.

2. Create a scene in your mind of what is going on for you now that you would like to change.

3. Once this scene is very clear, create a new scene. The scene that you want to be your new reality. Feel the way you want to feel when saying ‘no.’

4. Play it out over and over. You don’t need to play out whole conversations where you defend your decisions to people (you can but it’s not necessary). You want to put yourself in a position where you want to say ‘no’, then say ‘no’ (for example). Say it and replay it again and again as if you were watching a video and rewinding and playing, rewinding and playing.

5. Stand your ground, in your mind, and say ‘no’ as often as necessary until you feel comfortable with it. You may imagine people getting annoyed at you saying ‘no’. This is good. Just keep saying ‘no’…

6. If you want to step it up a bit, while you are imagining saying ‘no’ you can also imagine the other person shrinking and you growing taller. Before you know it you are saying no to a pint sized person barely visible to the naked eye.

7. You will notice the more comfortable you get with it, the more your physical body changes. Your shoulders will square off, your back will be straight, your head held high. Inside, you will feel a sense of peacefulness and empowerment but also strength.

8. Pay close attention to the feelings mentioned above, you will want to use them again in the future. The way you carry yourself in that moment is also a state changer.

9. Anchor that feeling of strength empowerment and peace by focussing on it very intently then rubbing your thumb and forefinger together. Focus, anchor, focus, anchor.

10. Once you are certain you have no attachment to the emotion you once had and you are confident in the new ‘script’ you just created, go ahead and close out of that scene.

11. The next time you are needing or wanting to feel empowered, peaceful or strong, use your anchor and all the feelings and emotions will come back.

Some of the greatest athletes in the world have reached their level of success because of doing this. Visualizing nothing but the outcome they wish to achieve. They don’t ponder the thought of not winning but rather focus solely on their desired outcome.

Let me know how you make out :)

Daddy, Do You Even Love Me?

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I was watching Iyanla Vanzant and one of her guests spoke about the residual feeling of abandonment left behind by his father.

As a grown man he feels worthless, unloveable and believes that he will never be good enough. He is still living his current life through that hurt little boy, but he doesn’t know it.

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That’s the thing about old hurt. The pain we felt stays with us at the age at which it occurred. That behaviour then drives our daily decisions.

When we look in the mirror we see an adult face and body. Intellectually we know what we need to do, but underneath being responsible and diligent, is still our child-self feeling helpless and confused.

This particular man repeatedly stated what he wanted most was to end his ‘story.’ This story he keeps telling himself. He wants it gone but doesn’t know how to not feel empty, worthless.

His dad left him and you don’t leave people you love, so he must be unloveable. This is how he remembers it, how he feels.  This is all he remembers.

This mans whole life from the moment his father walked out has consisted of questions like:

“What’s wrong with me?”

“Daddy, do you even love me?”

“Will I ever be good enough for you?”

Now of course daddy isn’t there to answer these questions so what happens is this man as with nearly all of us, provide the answers. Answers from the memory of that helpless hurt child.

If I would have been better, he wouldn’t have left. If I did what he told me…if…if…if…and this is how the ‘story’ plays out, day after day.

Living on a continuum of what if’s why not’s and how come’s, life becomes nothing short of a game of mental racquetball. Running after something going in different directions at a speed you can’t meet, with energy you don’t have, all while trying to maintain a ‘normal’ life with a family of your own.

It is exhausting, stressful and not to mention completely takes away from those who love you and whom you love.

The great news is you can change your story and create a new reality for yourself.

4 STEPS TO CREATING A NEW STORY

1. The way to gain the closure you desire is by taking our conscious mind out of it. Even though it is our conscious mind that is rational and trying to make peace by seeing things through mature adult eyes, the subconscious continues to dictate what reality is for us.

By gaining access to the subconscious mind through hypnosis, this can be done easily effectively and quickly.

2. While completely relaxed so there is no conscious cooperation, the tools become available to address and clear what happened through the eyes of that broken child with the aid of the adult.

3. Once this is complete, it is then possible to give it new meaning. Giving something this profound a new perspective, is what will change the story forever.

4. It is this which will end the aching question “Daddy do you even love me?” because once the understanding comes about that whole, confident, secure men, don’t leave their children, a cloud lifts.

The only thing you may be left with is profound relief to finally understand that Daddy does love you he just didn’t know how. That it was not about you, but rather his inability to provide what was necessary for a stable healthy environment. In other words, it just may be possible he thought you’d be better off without him, because he himself didn’t know any better.

Have You Lost Who You Really Are?

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Do you feel like you’ve lost who you were?

Were you that person who used to say what was on their mind, respectfully? Honest to those around you and people knew where you stood?

What changed? When did you lose your self trust? 

Has life taught you it is not ok to say what you think and feel, and it has become too painful to be yourself?

Please, I urge you to reconsider. It will most definitely take a strong person to hold up to the criticism but you already have that strength inside. You know it and I know it, and I don’t even know you.

The damage you are doing to your soul by conforming to someone else’s ideals is slowly killing you, you know that don’t you?

In fact, you probably find yourself saying things like “Oh why bother” or “What’s the point.”

The point is, this is your life. YOUR LIFE. LIFE. LIFE. LIFE. When you are dead is that time to lay down forever. Not now!

I’m pretty sure you have heard similar words before and you may even have said or thought “Easy for you to say..”or “It’s just not worth it.”

Let me tell you, when you fully understand that nothing matters around you, you will have zero hesitation. Until then, you set yourself up for people to cross your boundaries, abuse you in different forms, manipulate you and all the while slowly stealing your spirit.

Ask yourself what happened exactly. Go back in your mind to a few examples of times when you were your authentic self, got shot down and they became moments that changed your beliefs about who you should be.

Go ahead do it now and if you have to, write them down for clarity sake.

What similarities do you notice? More often than not, you will see a pattern.

Now here’s the thing. Honesty is crucial. If going back in your mind to those events has you still standing firm on your beliefs, what happened that made you back down?

If on the other hand you took an honest look and found that maybe your thoughts weren’t aligned during that time, then own it.

Then dump it.

Personally speaking, I have always had an opinion. Always. My opinion was based on what I knew at the time. I have found myself in battles where I realized later I was wrong. I was subconsciously looking for drama because my life was drab.

I have no trouble apologizing. It taught me, among other things, to not be so quick to offer an opinion on things I knew nothing about. (A bit of a know it all….I owned it and am very transparent now)

What I have also learned is I will never ever allow someone to plow over my deepest  sense of who I am, my moral beliefs and my integrity. I don’t care who they are.

And neither should you.

Please take your life back. Get unstuck.

If you need assistance I will help you via hypnosis where you go back and claim your  power in your mind thus creating a new reality for you.

Otherwise,

Stay true to you. Own your mistakes. Be authentic. Trust Yourself.

Are you hypersuggestible? Do you walk around like a zombie?

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We all learn a little differently. which attributes to how we accept incoming information. We are all suggestible in one form or another.

Being suggestible is a state which allows access to the subconscious mind in hypnosis. One which utilizes the access gained to the subconscious mind for positive change.

While in hypnosis, receptiveness to what is experienced through all the senses is

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intensified making it easy to create change. This altered state of mind that increase’s our receptiveness, is not the same as during our awake state. The state we are in as we go about our daily tasks.

This is a good thing. If this didn’t happen (getting out of the altered state) we would become, and some are, hypersuggestible.

What this means is, during the waking state, we become receptive to and experience, the same intensified perceptions as in hypnosis.

What causes this is an overwhelm of message units coming in causing confusion and turbulence in our mind, thus we try to escape.

For a child it may be a parent continually scolding them. Perhaps long bouts of yelling, lecturing, pointing out all the negatives. These things are perceived as a threat so the child chooses to escape for some relief.

This is a great mechanism to create safety for ourselves during times of overwhelm.

In the case of the child, he doesn’t  hear the noise anymore because he put himself somewhere else in his mind to get away from it all.

The problem occurs when we stay in this state too long. Although we are consciously escaping what is going on around us, we are subconsciously accepting every bit of it.

We continue to hear, see, experience all that is going on around us at a subconscious level.

Then it can happen, we carry on the rest of our day in this state of intense receptivity only adding more negative to what we just tried to avoid.

We become super sensitive to everything and ‘feel’ more physically and emotionally than we normally would. This overall will create havoc in our psyche.

Simply put, awareness it key here. If you are in a position where you, yourself ‘escape’ be certain when the threat is over, you return to regular consciousness.

You will know when you are because you won’t have that glazed over look or feeling, and you will feel present in your current situation.

In todays terms, you won’t look or feel like a zombie.

 

Do You Feel Like A Phoney?

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When someone makes a suggestion, we either accept or reject it. We, whether out loud or in our heads, agree or disagree based on what reference we have to compare it to.

As adults, we have filters that tell us what is good and what is bad and it differs for everyone.

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Why? It is all based on the information we have gathered up to this point in our lives.

It doesn’t make anyone right or wrong. It simply means the suggestions we have accepted in the past, will continue to dictate what we believe as truth and what we discount as false.

Say as a child you grew up being told and shown in no uncertain terms you were a useless twit who will never amount to anything.

Unless there was an intervention of some sort, you will subconsciously live out that statement as truth throughout your lifetime.

You may be an overachiever but deep down inside you still feel like a useless twit who will never amount to anything, and even though you have achieved success, it is never enough. You constantly think one day someone will figure out who you really are and expose you.

To be sure this doesn’t happen, you hide. You may create barriers around you so no one gets too close. (there are a host of different possibilities here)

Conversely, you could end up living a life of bad relationships, going job to job, drinking, and really, going nowhere fast. No direction, no goal no foreseeable future.

All because you accepted the suggestions from someone else. Now to be fair, most of these suggestions occurred very young before you had filters (up to the age of 8).

When we are bombarded with a great deal of constant negativity at a young age, we have nothing to compare it to because that is all we know so we accept it as truth.

What happens then, is, as adults when someone offers praise and recognition, we hesitate to accept this suggestion in fact more often than not, we don’t accept it at all.

We often feel like we fooled them, or like earlier thoughts, ‘when they get to know who I really am, they’ll run!’

Who we think we really are, remember, is what someone told us repeatedly before we had a chance to know any different.

Here’s where it gets more confusing. As an adult, we have filters. Consciously we know what is good or bad for us. Consciously we know we did a good job, or that we are decent people, or that we deserve praise and recognition. Somewhere deep inside we know our goodness, our intentions, our qualities.

Subconsciously though, this goes against all the accepted suggestions we grew comfortable with. We are then reminded otherwise (through the power of the subconscious) so we create some diversion in life to prove it true. Problem is, we don’t know we are doing it.

When it happens, (say, we didn’t get the promotion), a feeling of comfort comes about us. Not comfort like a cozy sweater but comfort as in a knowingness. It is now when we say “See, I told you” or “I knew it.”

The subconscious does not like change. It likes to stay comfortable with what it knows. If we got the promotion, it has no reference to compare that to, so as far as it is concerned, it must not be a good, or safe thing.

Utilizing hypnosis as a tool for change, provides direct access to the subconscious mind, where all the negatives are stored.

In doing this, we now have the ability to create for ourselves a positive fact based reality. One we choose. With information we want and are willing to receive.

In hypnosis we override the current program and create a new one, thus making the subconscious work for you, not against you.

Oh, and all while comfortably relaxed!

On a side note, the subconscious is not ‘bad’. It is actually there to protect us.

 

 

Life Does Not Suck. You Do.

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Everyone does things for their own reasons. Whether it’s an addiction, anxiety, depression, anger, whatever it is, we cannot assume to know why people do what they do.

It is when we do assume, we avoid our own reality. The reality that we are just like them. The quicker we are to judge, the faster we hide within and remain tortured until….

Until we can’t take it anymore and fix it once and for all. But where does one begin? How do we start to figure out where the torture began or how to get rid of it? 

And what may happen if we aren’t careful, is we begin to self destruct. We become defensive, angry, compromising or passively existent in our lives.

When this happens we view everything in the same darkness. We feed off the misery and it infects us. Then it grows. As it grows it pollinates and spreads to those around us.

Behaviours are learned. They can be unlearned.

Are you willing to do the work or would you prefer to stay in darkness? Is the idea of infecting rather than affecting people pleasing to you?

Don’t kid yourself. Not everyone thinks like you. They agree because it is safe. That’s it. Deep inside they know there is more. They are seeking more, but in the meantime they are stuck with you.

Get rid of your shit. Quite frankly, we’re all a little tired of it.

My mom always said if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all. I agree, and yes, I need to remind myself of that too at times.

What I also know is when I do it, I have a problem deep within me at the moment. I am usually displeased with not completing something I set out to do.

That is my gauge to course correct.

What’s yours?

Hypnosis works. If you don’t believe me, try it. It is easy. It gets to the root of the issue and it heals it forever.

You don’t have the excuse any more that you don’t have time to do self help. Hypnosis is fast compared to reading books, doing homework, doing self analysis and consciously becoming aware of your every thought. (although the last one is good all around)

You say you can’t afford it?

Ok, tell me that again while you pay for a divorce or bail your kids out of jail or maybe pay for rehab.

I’m not trying to be harsh, but the reality is harsh. You have a choice.

What are you going to do?