We pass judgment on almost everything. We don’t think we do, but I happens. For most of us it is unconscious, we don’t even realize we are doing it. We are used to thinking a certain way, or our beliefs are so strong we cannot even conceive there is a different way. Or, we don’t trust ourselves enough to have empathy for a situation and rather follow the voice of others.
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We all have an inner critic, and there are some who get paid big bucks to state their opinions out loud. When they do, because they are on TV or the radio, we agree and say it must be so.
These people are getting a paycheck. They put their pants on one leg at a time just like us. As for the celebrities, who makes them celebrities? We do. Certainly they have talent but we are buying the product they have to offer. That’s it. This doesn’t make them a ‘guru’ in every area they speak about. We have simply allowed them the forum in which to speak to millions of people, and share their opinion.
I am all about having an opinion, Lord knows that has never been a weak point of mine. The difference I am speaking about is the ability to be flexible to see another side to any situation. To understand why someone thinks the way they do or why they do the things they do. And that can be the hard part when we are confronted with situations that make us feel uncomfortable.
Everyone wants to be accepted. That’s it. Kids are in gangs for the same reason. We don’t understand this so we judge. I have judged.
When we trust ourselves, we have empathy. We have an understanding and knowingness that people are good inside and they are doing only what they know, have been taught, or the only thing that works for them to get the acceptance they so desperately desire.
The other day I heard a quote from a clothing designer I believe it was. He said about the singer ‘Adele’, “She has a good voice but she’s too fat”.
Really? Who the hell cares? She has talent. Isn’t that what we should be realizing rather than tearing down the talent to find the flaws? Is this how you feel acceptance buddy, by publicly ridiculing a perfectly beautiful person?
But, again, this is just my opinion. My judgement.
Then there is the death of our Military men. So many want to scream and holler at the government for killing our soldiers. I understand that, and the point I am making is simply this. The soldiers died doing what they love. As unfortunate as this is for their families, they will attest to this. I was involved in the Military life for 12 years. Most of these men volunteered to go overseas. (In Canada) They fully understand the risks. But not only once, they go repeatedly.
And how about the death of skiier Sara Burke. A lot of opinion and judgement about her untimely young death. I agree it is very sad. An expert at her sport, yet she died because of it. Again, the point being she loved it. She was living, alive while she walked her 29 years on this earth while the rest of us sit on our couches, eating potato chips, wishing we were living our dream.
Next time you hear someones opinion, or chose to make one yourself, find the place it is coming from and ask yourself if it is possible to see things from another perspective.
We are all raised different. We all interpret things differently, so shouldn’t we save our opinion and trust in ourselves enough to know what is good for us, and trust in others that they know what is good for them?
When we know better, we do better. Mia Angelou
Too True, Mia. We are all judgemental whether we like it or not and it is sometimes easy to be led by the strong opinions of others – however to stand up and be counted for your own opinions is to be true to yourself.
Thanks for sharing this great article Suzanne!
I love this.. I try to look at things from so many sides that I often can’t decide what my opinion really is.. I can put myself in others shoes too easily. It’s why it’s easy for me to do consulting but why I have to space it so far apart. I the pain of others pains me too much…yikes..
Great article Suzanne. I am able to listen to others opinions, but ultimately mine is what I have to live with. I do however listen to the Lord’s words and it brings me comfort when I hear it.
Very well said, Suzanne! I love this article.
I LOVE this article–very well written and so beautifully said!
I love this article, Suzanne. I especially liked when you wrote, “When we trust ourselves, we have empathy.” That is so very true! When we trust ourselves, we not only are able to trust others, but we see things in a different light. Thank you, for sharing your wisdom
Everything you do needs to resonate! Has to line up with your head, your heart, and your gut, or its the wrong move!
SS
When we know better we do better. I love that. It’s been one of my favorite quotes for a long time! How is it possible to do what you don’t know how to do… Thank you so much for sharing. x0x
The LEARNED Preneur @ NormaDoiron.NET ˚ .ღ 。
I’ve never been short on opinions either, Suzanne, but hope I keep my mouth shut long enough to hear every side and not judge too harshly when they make their own decisions. Great post.
There is no doubt that we are products of our parents and peer groups. Time that we realize that those influences are nothing more than personal opinions of others and should never be what we personally think or do. So unfortunate that we do not learn these lessons earlier in life because they hold us back. Suzanne you took on a big topic and helped to simplify it through trust. Few people take the time to learn this, thanks for sharing.
Suzanne, this is a very insightful post, thank you for sharing! I love this quote by Maya Angelou “When we know better, we do better”…absolutely! Trusting yourself and knowing yourself are so critical…love it!
Other people’s opinions are, however incompatible with our own, a valuable source of insight and perspective. We must be open to changing opinions when facts point to us being wrong, for example. Yes, it will most likely involve some other person/people sharing with us the facts and the consequent opinions… Nothing wrong with it.
The key is most probably in values vs. opinions. Our own opinions are a fleeting matter oftentimes, and are affected by things we don’t even consider (example: in one experiment people were asked to talk to an ‘applicant’ for a managerial position and give their personal opinion on whether they’d recommend that person for the position. Each subject followed the same exact procedure ad had a basically same conversation with the ‘applicant’. Some of the subjects were asked by the person guiding them to the interview location to hold a hot cup of coffee for a moment, and others a cup of cola with ice. Any guesses on the outcome?… Coffee-holders unanimously formed a favorable opinion of the ‘applicant’ and recommended him for the job. Cold drink holders liked the applicant too – but didn’t recommend him for the job…). Always staying true to one’s values is a better rule of thumb than always sticking to one’s own opinion… Imho
Interesting to think how many people are putting out opinions for the first time, Suzanne. Thing of all the bloggers! If we’re writing, more than likely we feel strongly enough about a topic to do so …and somewhere in our minds consider ourselves some sort of expert. So it’s no longer just the Talking Heads, those being paid to do so. And, hopefully, having access to so many people’s thoughts we’ll diversify from what we already believe and open our minds to someone else’s thoughts and beliefs!
I think sometimes we pass judgment because it is easier to do so. We sometimes do not want to take the time you take in and understand other people’s thoughts and opinions. I am guilty of it at times myself. It can be a hard habit to break.
I like the fact that you declare the fine line between our “opinions” and “judgments”…very thin isn’t it? Great article, I like ones that make me think and look more closely at myself. Awesome insights for self-growth! Thanks!
There is something to leading by our ‘gut’. When you lead your life based on the values of others, you will always end up disappointed.