We have heard numerous authors talk about the illusions we hold of ourselves. From Deepak Chopra to Echart Tolle, they discuss that what we see or think we see is simply an illusion.
As much as I admire these guys, I couldn’t understand what the heck they were talking about. An illusion is something not there and we think it is. Clearly that tree I am looking at is there. And so is the laundry I just hung on the line.
So I let it go and never thought about it again. Until, that is, the answer became very clear to me.
I had lost a whole lot of weight a number of years ago without trying. I was going through life changing events causing me an incredible amount of stress. My nerves were bad and I suppose I was depressed since I cried all the time. (I swear all the tears is what caused the weight to leave)
One day, I ran into someone at the mall that I hadn’t seen in a few months. She pulled me aside and asked if I was sick. I had a strange look on my face I’m sure because I didn’t know why she would be asking me that.
She mentioned my dramatic weight loss and how my face was sunken. That was my awareness call. I did not even realize I was that thin. All I saw in the mirror was the same person that was there 3 months prior.
Obviously I had to buy smaller clothes but the illusion was real. I still looked and felt the same in my mind.
People were complimenting me all the time for my weight loss and although I now understood I had lost a significant amount of weight, that was only on a conscious level. Because I see the numbers on the scale, and I see the size difference in clothing I knew I was thinner. Subconsciously however, all remained the same.
I looked in the mirror and saw the illusion of the old me. Unhappy with my weight, frustrated that I let this happen, self loathing. I did not appreciate and was not grateful for the weight loss that I had prayed for so often. My mind chatter was exactly the same. Same voices same berating words..”oh look at that roll over top your pants!” “your so fat!”, ‘you can’t wear that, who do you think you are?”.
Time went on and I finally came to accept my weight loss. I had seen pictures of myself and that is when it finally sunk in. Acceptance. The voices stopped for a while, I felt good and I accepted myself.
Or so I thought…
When in your life have you felt this way? The illusion so real to you, you could touch it, feel it? So real you would have argued your point?
Illusions are the master of perceptions. Left to your subconscious you will always be as you have always been, always do what you have always done.
Master your perceptions and master your life.
Stay tuned for part 2!