Tag Archives: Belief

Are You Allowing Dead People To Make Your Decisions For You?

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There are some people that no matter how old they are still look for the approval of their parents. In everything they do from parenting to what jobs they decide on, what schools they attend, the partner they choose, and so on.

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We are plagued by the voices of the past…those voices that have always reminded us of our failures or our shortcomings.

I know a few of these people and most don’t even know they are doing it. I was one of those people. For me specifically I don’t know that I was looking for the approval, but was definitely guided by the negativity that was drilled into my head while growing up mostly by my Nana.

It’s kind of funny I was one of those people that were 6 of one half dozen of the other. I was partly affected by the voices telling me I will never amount to anything (and so much more) and the other part rebel.

I haven’t fully concluded at what moments the rebel came out but now writing this I am curious so it sounds to me like I need a hypnosis session to get to the answers.

Let me ask you a few questions about how you are living your life right now.

How many times are you still burdened by the voices of the past?

Who in your life is dead and yet you are still living by their rules?

When will you decide something is good enough for that person?

Will it ever be good enough? If they are dead, how will you know?

Do you still make decisions based on whether that person would approve?

Isn’t it time now to stop the madness? If you are making life decisions based on the negative voices of your past, how much of your life are you living?

Close your eyes for just a minute if you would. Just imagine yourself now ejecting all the ‘stuff’ that is imprinted in your mind that you would like removed from a specific person.

Use your imagination. Eject it any way you want. Reach in and pull it out, have it spit out like it would from a printer. However you do it make it fun after all, it is fun getting rid of unwanted nonsense.

When you are done, and making sure you have every last letter…imagine giving it back to the deceased to be buried with them.

Place it in their coffin, and release it forever. Imagine giving it back to them. Just like we bury people in their favourite clothes and jewels, the same can be done with their favorite words!

Sound weird, strange or bizarre? So what. It works. It is a temporary visual for a permanent solution.

Everyone always asks how to let go of things. This is one way. Our subconscious mind does not know the difference between reality and pretend and that is why hypnosis is so effective.

Do this exercise and please comment and let me know about your experience.

Here’s to you living your own life…

 

 

 

 

Are You A Control Freak?

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So, you are a control freak? Do you like to box some ears and keep people on their toes? Read on if you want some cold hard facts on what you think you know but don’t.

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I have been surrounded this past week by people wanting to deal with control issues.

Let me begin by saying what I told an individual who emailed my for my help with her controlling husband. We cannot change other peoples behaviour.

As a hypnotherapist I do not change their behaviour, they do. The session is guided by me but the inner work is done by them as no one can get into someones else’s head. You have to want to change. You must be able to acknowledge there is a problem and be willing to accept the help to change it.

Now, having said that, being a control freak, admittedly needing to control everything also takes away all your excuses. You screw up, you take responsibility. You will never be allowed to get away with anything less than perfection. You set the bar for yourself and you will forever be held accountable.

This means, you do not have the right to complain when the going gets too tough.

Although you cannot control other people, somehow you manage through intimidation or brute force to get them to follow through with your orders.

And I bet dollars to donuts, in the back of your mind you are thinking this person who is at your every whim is weak and powerless (or at the very least how powerful you are)

In fact, it is you that is powerless.

Yup. You! No one who is comfortable in their own skin ever finds the need to treat people horribly or control things because for them, whatever happens, they trust themselves to handle it.

If you are a control freak, here’s what is really happening..YOU in fact are the one being controlled.

You who cannot let go enough to trust someone else to do something, you who has to go fix things up cause they aren’t good enough for you, you who issues commands to people you think are weaker than you, it’s time to wake up to what is really happening.

You are walking around with a noose around your neck. You are exposing all your weaknesses for everyone to see.

And what happens when you do that? You open yourself up for manipulation. You are in fact a sheep going to slaughter.

People around you know exactly what will set you off, and they will, at just the right moment, pull the trigger. And you will react exactly as they expected.

People will do a half ass job because they know according to you, it won’t be good enough and you will do it yourself. They got exactly what they wanted.

Many will repeat doing poor work and you will never ask them again for help. They got what they wanted.

You find yourself completely stressed because you have so much to do. Why do you have so much to do? Because no one else is capable of doing as good a job as you and you are left doing it all.

Then you complain about the bunch of morons that don’t know how to do anything right.

Drama. People will walk away from you, stay away from you, steer clear of you, and at the very least pretend to like you.

You risk people walking away forever.

And isn’t that what you feared in the first place?

 

Speaking Your Truth And Trusting Yourself To Do It

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If you talk to anyone who knows me they would tell you I speak my mind, that I always say what  I feel or think.

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Because I am me, I disagree but for the most part, I in fact do. I have often laughed because if they think I am saying everything I think or feel and I am really not, imagine then what must really be going on inside my head!

The point of this is to bring awareness to self trust. Many people don’t speak up for many reasons. They don’t like confrontation, they feel insecure, they are easily intimidated and so on.

When you have self trust it does not matter what may blow up in your face if that is what you are scared of, you will be able to handle it. We don’t do things we don’t trust ourselves to deal with.

In fact when you trust yourself you don’t really ponder what others may think, say or do. You know it is right, you know it is necessary and you know how to handle whatever may come. If it comes. You don’t give it a whole lot of thought.

Ok, there may have been times when you have done things you didn’t trust yourself to do, because you had to, and even that could not have been anything but a good experience.

1. It all worked out and you learned you can trust yourself, or

2. Something screwed up and there were consequences. Think about the lesson. You would have been able to look at the situation from a different perspective and learn through it, something very beneficial. With this type of learning, you begin to grow self trust and are better prepared for the next time.

We must be able to stand out and up on our own. Grow our own voice and stop using insecurity as a vice to staying stuck.

When I began blogging which really wasn’t too long ago, I was hesitant to articulate what I truly wanted to say. I made my posts a bit stuffy (I think) and really worded things loosely.

Same goes with commenting on otheres’ sites. I was truthful in my comments but somewhat conservative.

You want to know why? I had this same thought over and over in my head. “What if someone challenges my post or my comment (hence my opinion)?”

In doing that I came to recognize in order to have that thought, there must be a preceding thought. And there was.

That thought was one of intimidation. “I am not good enough to write this sort of thing. What if someone with more experiences tells me I am wrong? Walk on the safe side Suzanne. You don’t know anything.”

I began doing self hypnosis and I remember one day beginning to leave a comment on a question in social media. I started becoming really reluctant, and questioning if my answer may get scrutinized by the more experienced people. It was a thread that many people had already participated in.

Then all of a sudden I snapped out of it! I had an instant thought that changed everything. Here’s what that thought was.

“No one. No one no matter who they say they are, think they are or just are, can dispute my experiences. Remember to trust yourself.”

I thought about it for a minute and no longer, and that is all it took. I don’t care how long someone has been doing something, and who they do it with, my experience is not something anyone can dispute. Ever.

I am trusting myself to put myself out there and share my vulnerabilities and if someone wants to throw trash in my yard, that’s fine. You cannot argue with someones truth.

 

 

How Watching the News Affects Our Health; You Are All In Hypnosis

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The few seconds before we go to sleep at night we are in hypnosis. That being said, so many of you watch the news right before, turning off the TV as you feel yourself falling deeper, while others fall asleep with the TV on.

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Hypnosis is a state of mind where your conscious mind relaxes and your subconscious mind is more accessible. That being said, everything you take in during that time becomes more of a reality.

So watching the news, depressing devastation as it is, is what your subconscious ponders all night long.

Ever wonder why you wake up feeling like you got hit by a truck? Certainly not everyone will feel like this, but there are many ways in which it shows up for us. Extreme fatigue, feelings of anger, unhappiness, uncertainty of where our life is headed, or why we are here, helplessness, etc.

We must learn to trust ourselves and our boundaries. Knowing when something just isn’t healthy for us and walk away.

Repeat offenders will often be guilty of the news being their topic of discussion. Talking endlessly of the devastation in the world, and the horrific events happening around us.

Some of the news is just stupidity that we buy into like whether or not Beyonce lip synced at the inauguration or that gong show of a story of Manti Te’O’s made up girlfriend. This is drama folks… who gives a rip?

Well apparently we do or it wouldn’t be the topic of discussion. But it doesn’t have to be this way!

We are currently being hypnotized by commercials, politicians, preachers, speakers, teachers, you name it.

Everyone goes in and out of hypnosis daily. Everyone. It is up to you now to take your power back and decide what is right for you by asking yourself some decision making questions.

  • Does it make you feel good?
  • Does it help you thrive
  • Can you do anything about it?
  • WILL you do anything about it?
  • What are you avoiding in your own life that you involve yourself in someone eles’s?
  • What are you getting out of by allowing others to influence who you really are and what you really believe?

Unless you are actively doing something to right what is wrong in the world, and I do believe we can all make a difference, than I ask you, what is the point of becoming so absorbed in this form of mental abuse? Having mental boundaries and trust in yourself will allow you to easily realize you are doing more harm than good.

Yes, mental abuse. I said it. Why? Because if you notice, you are being tortured daily by things you have no control over, then you beat yourself up about having no control. If you’re not beating yourself up you are miserable while talking endlessly about them bringing those around you down, too.

Gain your control back. Hypnosis is a choice. If you want to be hypnotized do it for great results in your own life. Decide you will no longer be a back seat driver.

This, is what you have control over.

This May Come As A Surprise But You CAN Change Your Thoughts..

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We think we have no control over our thoughts but as we are learning from many sources, we do.

Now, I am not speaking from a ‘holier than thou’ point of view I am speaking from someone who used to be completely and totally in the belief that I was being controlled.

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What else I know is it doesn’t seem so easy sometimes to get out of the mind funk when you are in it…and that alone is another mindset you hold true.

Trust me when I tell you this, no matter how much stuff is swimming in your head right now, there is a way out. Honestly you must decide you want to get out though.

If you do not take and gain purposeful control of your thoughts, there is a reason. What I ask of you is for you to ask yourself, why?

Why are you choosing to stay in this miserable place?

Never mind the excuses. Don’t forget I have been there so many times I have heard them all….from myself!

There may be a whole host of reasons. When you ask, don’t discount the answers you receive. Listen.

Here’s some examples of some of my reasons over the years,

- I don’t know any different

- it allows me to avoid what I really need to be doing

- I don’t have to take responsibility as long as I am blaming something for making me mad

-  these kids! If they would only listen! (blaming)

Some other reasons some do not change: Secondary Gain;

- they get attention

- there may be a financial or emotional benefit (gain)

- they get what they want (learned behaviour. As long as people give into it, why would you change ?)

You are doing yourself no favours by continuing on with whatever it is you believe you cannot change. Not wanting to take responsibility is immature and if this is the case, I would recommend going deeper and asking the child inside what scares you about that?

If it is avoidance, do the same thing. Ask yourself what are you really avoiding? For me the answer was ‘I might really have to do this thing (my business) and I don’t feel I am good enough!’

There are many more benefits in honesty within than there will ever be staying in denial. You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge and if you acknowledge it and make the choice instead, not to change, there are some deep issues you should get resolved.

If you don’t do any of these things, don’t look for pity on the outside. You may have suckered people for now but eventually the truth shines through and you will be exposed. People will walk away, feeling used, abused, taken for granted, controlled and manipulated.

You will be left alone, isolated and then, finally, you will have no more excuses. Who are you going to get mad at now?

Think I’m kidding?

Don’t do anything to help yourself and let me know in a few years how your making out.

Still don’t think you can change? Or that your behaviour is a choice?

Imagine yourself in your behaviour, say it’s anger/rage. A policeman stops at your door. Do you immediately stop what you are doing?

When the phone rings and you answer it, do you rage when you pick it up or do you tone it down?

You DO have a choice and if you honestly feel you don’t, and you know with certainty you will continue the behaviour in the examples above, I suggest you give yourself and those around you the gift of recovery and find someone who can help.

Oh and by the way, Hypnosis is perfect for this!

Does Your Day Suck So Far?

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Have you ever experienced a day(s) where everything goes wrong from the moment you wake up? Maybe it started because you woke up late. Then rushing out of bed you tripped and stubbed your toe. Someone closed the bathroom door on your finger, spilled your coffee on your white pressed shirt, can’t find your keys, and low and behold it snowed last night and you have a foot of snow to shovel.

You are frustrated. This frustration creates more mishaps until you are tripping over your own feet. You know how it goes, ‘It’s gonna be one of those days.’

But does it have to be? Is it necessary to convince yourself that because of a few fumbles you need to quit the whole game?

If you haven’t already, in your mind, go back to a day like this but imagine it on a TV screen and you are watching it. Close your eyes, breath deeply, and relax. In your mind, you are relaxed in a chair watching the latest episode of your life, remote in hand.  Let the movie play.

Imagine your worst day beginning now. Allow yourself to see each event step by step. You will notice with each event your frustration increases. As it increased, more mishaps occur. Pay close attention to your thoughts and feelings during each mishap. Now notice the point in which you decide the rest of your day will be like this.

Now that you have all the emotions back, I want you to take your remote and press rewind. Watch yourself as you are rewinding, your movements, facial expressions and body language. Now go ahead and laugh, because it is funny. Continue reading →

Take What You Hate About Yourself And Use It To Your Advantage

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I knew at a very young age I would eventually do something that utilized the one thing that got me in the most trouble. My mouth.

I am outspoken but respectful, truthful yet kind, sarcastic but fun. I always did/do what I was/am told but if you cross my boundaries, well, that just isn’t allowed, I don’t care who you are.                                

I have been in heated debates with bosses, company heads, military leaders and I even fought battles for other people because they were being wronged and didn’t have the confidence to follow through.

I really don’t care who I am speaking to, including and especially a so called ‘big wig’ who has an ego the size of Texas. If you speak to me like I am dirt under your shoe, it is clear to me you have issues, issues you will not use to bounce on me. I believe respect is earned but I do not believe in idolizing people.

And for the record, for me, this has always only been about right vs wrong, nothing else. It is about me standing up at times when I have been wronged as my boundaries would suggest, or I have been taken advantage of.

I have been called a loudmouth more times than I can count and yet behind closed doors these same people told me they admired that in me.

I never really thought anything of it until I began this path I am currently on and hindsight kicks in. I remember wishing I would just be able to shut up and be quiet.

Everyone knew when I was coming down the hall. My laugh was too loud, my jokes were loud, everything about me was loud. It was embarrassing to be quite honest. I didn’t know I was loud only that people told me…

But, those same people are still my friends today and tell me that’s what makes me….ME!

Now as I mentioned at the beginning of this post, I have known for many years somehow my voice or my mouth will come to serve me. (and it did when one of my boys ran off and I had to holler down the street for him) I just had no idea how, until I became a Hypnotherapist.

I am that person that will help you cut through your crap and get to the truth. I won’t allow you to cross my boundaries but I also won’t allow you to cross yours.

I will be your biggest supporter, and you will hear me down at the finish line, and you will get there sooner than later because I won’t allow you to stay stuck in your story.

When you come to me for help, I will give you the help you need. I don’t need to know everything about you, just what isn’t working and what you want to do about it.

But more than anything, we can find that ‘thing’ in you that as been the thorn in your side, the thing you most hate about yourself and honor it. Use it to your advantage, because that is what successful people do. They take what they have, work with it, and in doing so, create a new story. A success story.

Look around, those popular people in high school, they had their day. That’s why they still wear their hair the same, they try to relive it. It is the outcasts, the geeks, the nerds who end up excelling in life.

Here’s the thing, if you don’t want to see me to help you, that’s ok, but please do yourself a favor and ask yourself a better question. Ask yourself “How can I use _________ to my advantage?” “What can I do to make __________ work for me?”

I also offer an audio program on my products page called “The Story Of My Life” which will walk you through changing your current story, the one that is keeping you stuck.

Do it for you. Do it now. Enjoy, for this is the first day of the rest of your life!

Please leave me a comment below, I would love to hear from you!

 

 

 

 

 

How To Have A True Relationship And Why You Don’t Already Have It

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What you believe at your core is what will show to the world. It is as simple as that. If you, at your core are a hateful horrible person, you can only dress it up for so long. There will be times and situations that you are in where you will come bounding out for all to see, just as if you jumped out of a cake in the middle of a party.  This is the subconscious mind at work.

And what happens when someone jumps out of a cake? All attention is drawn to you because it wasn’t expected, they are surprised. You can try to control it, stifle it, choke on it, puke it out, but you will always be at risk of blowing your cover.

On the flip side you could be the most kind sensitive caring person underneath but your past associations suggest you always get ‘hurt’ because of it. You will create a shell , or encase yourself in cement as I have previously written about. In this case, you will become hardened on the outside and soft in the middle which creates havok in the mind and body and especially the spirit.

You cannot and do not trust yourself, have difficulties making decisions, take things personally, have tremendous self doubt and guilt just to name a few.

It is really important to understand you cannot hide from who you truly are. Like eating garlic. You can deny eating it all you want but the smell gives you away. It just seeps out of your pores.

So why continue on with the facade? If it aint workin, and I personally guarantee it isn’t.. why not just be who you are and accept and love yourself so the rest of us can accept and love you too?

I can assure you you may think you have ‘true’ friends, which is why you continue on with the facade, but if you were truly honest with yourself, you will see they are not.

They are pretending just like you. So let me put it to you this way, if you were to accept someone for who you think they are, and you begin to realize they are not that person, wouldn’t you feel a bit cheated? Would you not resent the fact they couldn’t trust you enough to be themselves? Weren’t they pre judging you and assuming you wouldn’t like them?

And lets face it, if they can lie to themselves and to you, who else are they lying to?

Being a phoney goes far beyond the insecurities of one individual. It affects many. In fact if you ask me it borders on selfishness.

Do you like to be considered selfish? To be a fake a fraud, is to get something from someone that isn’t earned honestly for the benefit of yourself.

Pretty much sums it up.

Take off the layers of phoney skin and be yourself. I don’t care who you are, what your interests are, what you look like, being you is the best you can be and you will be loved for it.

Using Hypnosis can bring you back to the real you at your core. If you have lost who you are, you can find yourself. If you have forgotten why you chose the path of falsities, you will unveil that too, make it right, and prepare for a life free of unclaimed baggage.

Please leave me a comment on my blog, I would love to hear your feedback.

What Part Of Your Story Keeps You Stuck?

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As a female, I wanted the fairy tale wedding. The excitement of trying on dresses, planning, booking the church, all that goes into it. But mostly the feeling of being a princess. We women start to think about this from a fairly early age.

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This becomes our story. The story that we must finish to the end. I had my wedding and it was everything I had hoped for and more. For some, it never happened. Many women in this situation are left feeling unworthy, frustrated rejected and unlovable.

We as women decided in order for us to be ‘truly loved’ or ‘fulfilled’ or ‘appreciated’, we must get married. We must perform the ritual. The ritual that someone expresses their undying love for us in front of everyone. We all want that feeling of being whisked away by our prince, and we want to feel like a princess. If only for one day.

When our story does not meet the reality we live, this is where discord comes in.

When you are frustrated in areas of your life it is for one reason only. It is because you set out to do be or have more than what your life currently shows.

You had an image, feeling, idea of what success in this area will or should look like to you and it is not showing up in your life. Perhaps you told yourself the only way you would ever feel important is by becoming a lawyer.

You don’t become a lawyer and spend every day thereafter feeling completely unimportant. No matter what you achieve your story still lingers. No matter how many good things happen, you continue to be unfulfilled because your story was ‘In order for me to be truly happy I must become a lawyer’.

On the flip side, there are areas in your life where you feel very pleased, successful, content and if you really think about it, the reason is because your desired results are showing up. What you had decided must happen, did.

So compare the two scenarios now in your own life. Where is an area you are unhappy? Are you disappointed in your kids? With your weight? Your finances? Your own behavior?

When you decide you ‘should’ look a certain way and you don’t, you ‘should’ have this amount of money and you don’t, your kids should behave the way you raised them and they don’t, this is your story.

We tend to make hasty rationalizations then. You decide you must be a failure as a parent, or a lazy person with no self discipline. Because you are not the size you want to be does not make you lazy. Because your kids didn’t turn out like Beaver Cleaver does not make you a failure. It simple means the story you have decided on is not the way you wrote it and in order to change your feelings about it, you must be willing to change your story.

You must be willing to take whatever situation or story and rewrite it. This does not mean lowering your standards. This means accepting what is and working with it.

This is where you gain your power back. Knowing you do have the power to accept or change whatever it is that does not match your ideal vision.

For instance, accept that your kids need to learn their own way. You did.

Accept you are not a lawyer, but perhaps you can become a writer of legal standardizations or maybe even a fictional writer using your legal abilities in your story.

Accept your weight but also do what is necessary to get to where you want. If you can’t because of illness, say, well then accept that. If you cannot physically change whatever it is  you are allowing to keep you stuck, you must be willing to change your thoughts about it.

Change your perception only slightly and your life will change dramatically.

Trust yourself during the process.

Please comment below, your feedback is always valued!

 

You’re Sexy And You Know It, A Hypnosis Session

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My last blog You’re Sexy And You Know It..Trust Yourself I talked about our perceptions about the way we look at ourselves and our belief that we think we know what everyone else is thinking.

In this mini session we will deal with shattering our skewed view of ourselves and accept where we are right now.

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My post focused on weight but feel free to substitute whatever your perceived ‘flaw’ is.

I would invite you to find a quiet space just for you where you will be undisturbed. Relaxing your mind and body happens easily with breathing deep breaths so please go ahead and do that now.

Take in as much air as your lungs will hold and exhale slowly, noticing how your body feels after each exhale. Do this at least 3-4 times.

Now I would like you to ground yourself by imagine being in nature and noticing what is going on around you. Smell the smells around you. What do you see? Listen. What do you hear?

Find something solid now and touch it, feeling the presence of Mother Nature.

Now imagine yourself growing roots from the bottom of your feet.

Now that you are completely centered and grounded I would like you to imagine, or pretend you are in the middle of a carnival.

What do you smell here? Perhaps cotton candy, or roasted peanuts? Listen to the carnival music playing.

Du du dudu du du du du du du..

Notice a man on stilts putting on a show for those on the sidewalk, and the elephants off to the left giving the children rides.

Take a walk around and notice the things that catch your eye, those things that bring out the little person in you. When you feel a smile come to your face you know you have hit the jackpot.

Whatever it is for you, that makes you feel so special, pay close attention to where you feel the feeling, and your thoughts about what is happening right now.

You are a little kid again. A little kid having fun! Now for a moment, go have fun. Go on the rides, eat the candy, go do it and really feel the intensity of enjoyment in each thing you do!

Go on, have some fun!

Pause…..and enjoy….

Now I want you to make a file in your mind for this experience. One that you specifically label. One that contains all these pleasant memories and feelings and know you can draw on this file any time you choose.

Once you are done that I would like you to take one more walk around the carnival, again hearing the music as you walk.

Du du dudududu du du du du…

Notice a house of mirrors. I would like you to walk in and have a look around. See the people around you looking at themselves and commenting about how they look in each mirror. There are some men, some women and even some kids. Listen to what they are saying.

Now it is your turn. Look closely at each reflection. Hear what you are saying to yourself in each mirror.

Now find the perfect image in the mirror for you, the one that describes who you are at your best. Now if you would, knowing you are safe and grounded, spin around taking a quick glance at each mirror with you in it, starting from the least favorable. All the mirrors will become blurry except for your perfect image. This image is large and clear.

Go around and around, remembering your are safely grounded and balanced.

Now stop! I want you to spin in the opposite direction now, again viewing each frame, only this time humming circus music.

As you hum, you spin and as you spin you are going to lift each foot kicking the mirrors one by one shattering all the false illusions. As each mirror breaks you gain a big smile on your face. Have fun with it!

Go on….do it!

Kick each mirror one by one while humming the circus music.

When you are done, know you now have a clear image of who you are. All the illusions are now gone, perceptions are tarnished and you are free now to be that person looking back at you.

Please feel free to leave a comment below as I love all feedback!

I offer Skype sessions as well and if you are interested, please drop me and email @ suzannejonesbiz@gmail.com